dream girl?

Many people think of the girl or the guy that they think will be perfect for them. This puzzles me How can I know who will be the best person for me to spend the rest of my life with? I  know that I can't even decide what I shoiuld do on a day to day basis, I can't prioitize what I should Do.How can I Know who will be the best for me for the rest of my life. I know one thing that I don't want to follow the crowd in the area of marriage, always endingin divorce or fighting all the time. This is why I have been waiting patiently in this romantic atomsphere of Love and marriage is as common as the sunshine that falls on us daily. 

Now I have entertained my thoughts with this worldly idea. I hate that I have fallen so easily in this trap to entertain my mind with these thoughts is so sinful its disgusting. I am try to learn and have discernment with the help of the Lord of course to know when to pursue the girl that he puts in my life for that reason. I am so sick of ruining friendship and being rejected I know that guys are supposed to be tough and rigid but thats just an outer shell that I put on so that everything seems ok. I have been becoming  more soft though through the God of the word because He is softening me to be able to be more compassionate to people and showing them the Love of Christ. I have been rejected so many times it has caused my flesh to always want to draw back when anyones comes close to me. The Lord is stripping me of this slowly though I am getting better though with time. So now I have realized how horrible it is to entertain my mind with things that have been put in my mind by the DEVIL. So now I have failed in my flesh again this semester thinking that she was the one that would be the girl. Let me describe her to you so that you know that it wasn't just her looks but her heart and her personality that I loved the most, her looks just complimented everything that was already great about her. Anyways she is tall and slender and beautiful as of a precious stone that is untouched by the refiners hands. Her creativity and happiness in the Lord  could fuel people for ages. Her heart is so full of the Holy Spirit it encourages me daily. Everytime I see her I am always reminded of the Christ, because only He could make something so unique and beautiful. She Loves to dance, which is how I met her actually, for those of you that don't know me that well. I am not so fond of dancing actually I am really bad. Her blue eyes seem to stare into the deepest parts of my soul and her compassion is deeper than any ocean I know. She has been through alot this past Semester and yet The Lord is still using her daily and she has withheld all those attacks from the enemy. I Like her alot I would say I love her but I am not sure if she feels the same. She seems like she isn't even looking for anything like that right now. I can wait though, that is if I don't kill myself somehow first, for example skating or in a car wreck. I am hoping for neither but to not live long. thats another blog for another time. Just remember this you can never force your will Upon God's it will never work out maybe in the short run but in the Long Run He will get you and get you bad. if your reading this The One i am writing about I am sorry I feel this way towards you, I will try my best not to talk to you and too avoid you at all cost. I feel as if your not ready, as am I, don't worry though you will never hear from me again after this all contact will be lost. If you still want to be my Friend let me know. As of now I am assuming that we aren't you have fun hanging out with your friend and I will see you in heaven. so that is how things went i have lost a great friend again because of stupidity sometimes i wish i didn't have emotions at all. well i guess i will move on and try to keep living all i have to say is that i am sick and tired of burning bridges. it really sucks