wish you were here

 this is the best person in the world shes so awesome she has encouraged me in the worsts of times when i feel as if I could never come back. She reminds me of scripture as is never reluctant to really find out whats going on in my life. She is such a blessing to me this semester.

the main road of the Bible College this is by far the most  taken picture of the Bible college but I thought why not unless you go here I thought you would enjoy it.

 

so many times i have thought of something amazing to say with such an indie title as this but I have to say that I have nothing for words.I think that this will be a blog of picture that I have taken around the campus so that you can see why it is so awesome here. I know for those that have known me I have said anything but good things from this place I have a new outlook on it now though, I have seen the Lord in this place. So yea pictures will soon follow

Roses

so many times there are those in your life that you don't really pay attention to. you always get to seem them every year. It's not until you stop and think what you would do when they aren't around. I mean if you knew someone for two years and then realize at the end of the two years that you might not be able to see them ever again. I don't know what it is that makes me hate the fact that I will never be able to see them again. Maybe its the fact that I have changed so much as a person, i mean if I were to go back two years I probably the worst people person, that's the past though. I love my new changed life through the life here at the Bible college. I am still left with the stupid campus here that makes you realize that your not going to get any younger or any more attractive looking. I seem to be very to be honest with myself. I try not to be too honest with people in general because it usually scares them. Needless to say I think I just might go for it since I have always wanted to hang out with this person. I have spend a year trying to figure out how to talk to her. Through my worst fear i met her, swing dancing. I am still contemplating it but prayer has always been faithful to me. So if it really is of the Lord I can wait. I have now seen that the Lord wants me to wait. I am trying now just to keep the friendship going.

Well an update on that I guess would be appropriate even though I really don't feel like I should but I will any way. Well I asked her if she wanted to go on a bike ride and maybe have a Bible study I thought I was very subtle but I guess I wasn't

she text back and said a very nice "no" saying that she didn't want it to appear sketch. I mean I can understand that if we ever had the chance to hang out but that isn't even possible oh well. LORD YOU HAVE SUCH A SENSE OF HUMOR!!! I was kinda upset at first then realized pssh the Lord is with me I need nothing I have everything that I could ever imagine sometimes I wish thoughts of needing a girl in my life never came. I could live as if i was a kid How great life would be.

medicine

Man Its so awesome what the right kind of medicine will do for you. I ean yesterday I was really sick I couldn't do Anything. I was always cold and tired. Now today I am typing abd feel pretty good still can feel the remnant of being sick but if I don't do anything crazy I should be fine. Sometimes God will work miraculously in cray ways or sometimes He uses the simply things to do His work. I thank Him for how fast He works .

Being sick

ugh being sick is the worst. this by far has been the worst usually I have slept for 13 hours when I woke up I still feel the same. I know that the Lord can heal me though but man I pray that HE WOULD DO IT QUICKLY MY FLESH IS SO WEAK. It feels like my head is going to explode, I have had a massive sinus headache for more that a day now yea. I can be healed by Him who saved me from eternal life. I will keep you posted.

warfare

There has been a lot of Spiritual warfare through out this semester. About three weeks ago it hit a climax in the fact that the Devil had great victory in a battle of
My Life. He didn't win the war though because I am still standing here telling you about all the things that happened that night. Well throughout that last week and the week before I started to doubt a lot about everything. Things at home weren't going so well either, I started to notice as well that everyone was so fake here. In Germany if you asked one of the students hey whats up?, they would tell you how everything was going for real. I was starting to not want to do anything especially the thing that my teachers wanted me to do. So through this i started to harden my heart and not do anything with the word, or prayer. I stopped reading and praying always isolating my self because I believed the Lies of the Devil, that I wasn't worthy to do anything to talk to anyone. I really thought about dropping this school and getting a job until the semester had ended. So yea this what was going on through my head for two weeks, I tried to pray but always felt like something was wrong not knowing that was Satan deceiving me. So after awhile I totally gave in to it. It was a Monday night I remember being really mad at the fact that I didn't do much that day and now I had to go to class. I just remember taken a screw out of my pencil sharpener and i held it in my hand. Then like it was second nature I remember i was sitting in the front row and I took that razor and just started to run it up and down my leg. Before I could stop in my consciousness the Demons had influence over me and I went crazy, i remember bits and scenes from a movie that's really scratched and you can't see the whole thing but you can get the general idea. I just remember after it had all happened my arms were bleeding really really bad and so were my hands and legs. I can still see the blood drops of when it happened and I didn't stop the bleeding. Now though I have seen what happens when the demons try to take hold of your life. The next day I had to see Jason Cunningham and he made it very clear that I didn't have a faith based on the Bible but on How I felt everyday. So I have grown a lot from this experience but I have to always have to see the scars and tell people lies. So that i won't stumble those who struggle with this and for those that would freak out and not talk to me anymore because you think I am crazy. so that's it. I have been growing daily from this, because I now have a faith that is based on Fact.

joshua tree

this will be a post about all the fun adventures that I have had in Joshua tree. So the first time I went there it was with a friend of mine. We totally went there sour of the moment. we ended up getting there around 12 or 1 in the morning. From there we took out are sleeping bags and just slept in the open air. I remember feeling so small while I looked up in the sky and seeing all the stars, thinking that God had made all this. It makes you feel like your a nothing, but then you realize that He loves you and never forgets you. When I woke up the sun was shining on me and I had felt like a ton of bricks had hit me on the head.The only part that sucked was the fact that I totally missed morning devotions the next day. By the time that we woke up and got on the road it was 9 in the morning so we go back around 11 am. Right as lunch was starting it was pretty awesome.

second time around :) 

So I ended up convincing my roomate  that we should go to Joshua tree for a camping trip. So we packed up his already packed and cluttered car it ended up having a lot of things that we needed on the trip. We ended up getting there pretty late and we made a small fire it was in the national park but it was really flat. we woke up and ended up going exploring to  the rest of the park to find rocks that we could climb on. we ended up finding some ridiculous rocks that were amazing to boulder. Oh  did I mention that I also learned how to boulder yea it was really awesome.  after that I was really tired so we ended up going the wrong way for about an hour we realized this. We see the sign for Arizona that's when we realized that  we were going the wrong way. it was a lot of fun, even though we didn't get back until like five o clock. it was such a blast though.


third time around.:)
anyways me and my old high-school friend Matt ended up going here, again during the night though so it was really hard to find when everything looks the same. so we ended up finding it after trying to eat a party platter of sushi and a large pizza. we had to leave early the next day but it was the first time that I camped at the cool rocks that we bouldered the trip before. from there we went to camp pendelton and thats another story for another time.


fourth time around:)
well it the weekend of my birthday so i rounded up some of my friends and asked them if they wanted to go. they said yea of course  before i knew it there were many people that I had to ask a friend of mine if I could borrow his car. he totally said yes I was so excited. So I rounded up all of my friends and off we went. Backtrack a little bit that day I had to do my m1 which was all during the night, but I didn't get to sleep the night before so I stayed up all night. and the day before because i had mail in the mail room and then I had to go get my Laundry from my friends house after talking to her for a while it was 10:30 thenI went out to lunch with the cooks from germany. They paid our lunch was great and after talking to them it was 12:30 and I had to pack. So from there I got there in one peice and for some reason couldn't go to bed until 8:30 that night. That was the first day, the second day will soon follow so after we all woke up we went exploring for a while and did some rock climbing seen some huge lizards and then ust chilled. we ended packing up camp a little early but it  was worth it.

security shifts

so this one will be just on days that I have my midnight to eight am shifts called graveyards by everyone that does them. The boss people call them the morning shifts though. I usually love them except the days that I don't get a lot of sleep. They make the nights seem to drag on forever and ever. So the way these things go for all of you that haven't done security at the Bible college which I think is a lot of you guys since most of you don't go to the Bible College. Anyways we meet up and get radios and key sets just in case we need to lock any door and unlock any door. Then I go out and make sure all the doors on campus that are supposed to be locked are, and then i go around and make sure everyone is in there beds asleep and if not I usually say "Can you please wrap it up and be in bed by 1 am" I always feel bad if I have to write someone up for barely breaking curfew while in their room. Then after all thats over with I walk around so more and feel important, then we go take the trash out and they go eat and clean up and go to bed. I think that is the best thing to do right there is to go to bed. As of 3-19-10 there have been no funny stories to tell but each week I will tell you of my adventures in the abyss of the Bible college at night when no one is awake except the rabbits, I swear there mad. Until next week.

Week two
Anyways today was really weird in security in the fact that no one was up at all. I mean not even in the dorms. Then when it couldn't get any more random and weird, when i was making sure everything was locked I seen two guys,puzzled I started to follow them to see where they were going to go. I follow them through the outdoor overflow and then poof they were gone.When I finally seen where they went they were by the guard shack where they realized that the were at the wrong place. Then with the fear that they would come back at anytime and kill me or something, I had to patrol which is just walking around and asking for trouble.

ccs

So here at the Bible college in murrieta they let you do this thing called CCS. Which stands for Christian community service. I had picked a pretty awesome one that I thought would have worked out for the best little did I know there would be lots of snags. first off the Lady that was the coordinator for our ccs was in surgery and wasn't able to let us work for like a month. When we finally were able to work I realized that it totally conflicted with my schedule. So after two weeks of not being able to do it after the four that we were excused for, I had the opportunity to switch it so I did. Its been great now I helped out an old retired couple the husband was a pastor and was from France so that's pretty awesome but He can't hear well.That's a bummer but his wife basically speaks for him. Like today I ended up riding my bike there which wouldn't have been so bad if I would have had a bike with a medium gear on it. it didn't though so it sucked really really bad but it was totally awesome in the end to go to the house. They make you feel so happy as soon as you step into the house loving arms. Its awesome, So i blessed them today by washing there windows in the time it took them to go to the doctor and then come back. I tried to wash all of them but I couldn't because some of the windows were in the sun. If you didn't know washing your windows in the sun is a bad idea, it streaks really bad and just doesn't work. One of the best things was that she gave me four dollars for a coke and a burger and I totally needed some money for tonight. Since I have security tonight and I knew because if the ceral socila that I wouldn't get any sleep so it all went to energy drinks. So now I can stay up during my shift, hopefully we will see how it goes.

school- murrieta

so things have been of to a rocky start here at the bible college. things went crazy down hill but through all that and everything i have been able to grow and rise up in the strength that I have in the Lord. this last thing that I let the enemy do to me was pretty bad but it lead to an amazing discovery. So many times i read my Bible on days that I felt good but not on days that I felt bad or busy.I put myself over God I served him based on my moods. I need to have faith in Him in everything in the good days ans also the bad days as well. so many times I have just done everything off how I feel with no faith or anything solid behind it. With that exposed i now face the day with joy and peace knowing that the Lord is always with me. the days from then have been amazing little struggles here and there but nothing crazy as that night. I look forward to every day that i get to wake up and see the Lord through His word and prayer. There are a lot more things that have been going on but that"s for another blog and another time. Until next time peace love and food stamps.

Well next time has come around  has come, I have had a lot of trials here and many I have failed in  miserably I wish I wouldn't have been such a Loser in them but The Lord still loves me and for that I am so grateful more to any person I have ever been to. Anyways I have been struggling with this sin for about a year now. Many people can struggle with a sin that isn't physically noticeable  for me I had the reminder of what my sins did when I let them go unpunished just as a child that  goes unpunished. They grow stronger and stronger in evil until they are impossible to discipline. For me this was my sin I had to go to extreme cases with this sin I had to always talk to people about it and always make sure my walk was always on track and get it on track if it wasn't. this taught me though the importance of being daily in the word.