Roses

so many times there are those in your life that you don't really pay attention to. you always get to seem them every year. It's not until you stop and think what you would do when they aren't around. I mean if you knew someone for two years and then realize at the end of the two years that you might not be able to see them ever again. I don't know what it is that makes me hate the fact that I will never be able to see them again. Maybe its the fact that I have changed so much as a person, i mean if I were to go back two years I probably the worst people person, that's the past though. I love my new changed life through the life here at the Bible college. I am still left with the stupid campus here that makes you realize that your not going to get any younger or any more attractive looking. I seem to be very to be honest with myself. I try not to be too honest with people in general because it usually scares them. Needless to say I think I just might go for it since I have always wanted to hang out with this person. I have spend a year trying to figure out how to talk to her. Through my worst fear i met her, swing dancing. I am still contemplating it but prayer has always been faithful to me. So if it really is of the Lord I can wait. I have now seen that the Lord wants me to wait. I am trying now just to keep the friendship going.

Well an update on that I guess would be appropriate even though I really don't feel like I should but I will any way. Well I asked her if she wanted to go on a bike ride and maybe have a Bible study I thought I was very subtle but I guess I wasn't

she text back and said a very nice "no" saying that she didn't want it to appear sketch. I mean I can understand that if we ever had the chance to hang out but that isn't even possible oh well. LORD YOU HAVE SUCH A SENSE OF HUMOR!!! I was kinda upset at first then realized pssh the Lord is with me I need nothing I have everything that I could ever imagine sometimes I wish thoughts of needing a girl in my life never came. I could live as if i was a kid How great life would be.